We all know the day as either the day that your significant other is required to show you the most outward form of intimate expression or as Singles Awareness Day. Many of us, single as well as taken, dread that day of the year in which everything feels artificial and forced- materialistic and aggrandized. I’ve experienced Valentines Day in relationships, as well as in that awkward “Wait, we’re dating…. right?” phase, and of course, as a single woman looking for my own peace of mind. Even with someone to feed my chocolate and roses loving appetite, Valentines Day is my least favorite day of the year.
The origin of Valentines Day is still not entirely known, but we can trace it back to the feast of Lupercalia which was celebrated by the ancient Romans from February 13th to the 15th. During this celebration, men sacrificed both a goat and a dog, and then used the hides of the slain animals to whip women. Young women would actually line up to get whipped, thinking that the whipping would instigate fertility. After the whippings, there would be a matchmaking lottery in which the men would draw names from a jar and would couple up with their match for the rest of the festival. As the years progressed, authors like Shakespeare would romanticize this day and paper valentines became incredibly popular during the Middle Ages. Once the tradition made its way to the New World and while the industrial revolution was in full bloom, valentines became mass produced. We now see Valentines Day as another holiday victim to mass commercialization, and we have no one to blame but ourselves for literally buying into it.
I hate Valentines Day because I always felt as though I was never thankful enough for what I had received, even though I never needed or wanted anything. I remember a boyfriend making me feel guilty for buying him cheeseburger socks and making him a handmade pillow while he bought me a necklace. While I believed my gift came from my heart and thus held as much importance as his gift, he didn’t believe so. Because of this, we got into the biggest fight and ended up breaking up. Of course, we definitely had problems prior to Valentines Day, but this is to show that Valentines Day can highlight the ugliest attributes in people.
Valentines Day is a day to exhibit your love for someone to others. It is the ultimate form of showing off, and in that it is disgustingly pathetic. Does anyone not remember the quote “Love is not boastful” ? If you love someone, wouldn’t you show them everyday? Do we really need a “holiday” to initiate or reaffirm the “love”? And even worse, why do we feel the need to reinforce how we feel through the giving and receiving of material objects? We are a society based on commodities. We see objects for their symbolic meaning rather than their actual meaning, when we shouldn’t hold them so highly. If you love someone, show them everyday. A diamond necklace or ring doesn’t show love, words and actions do.
I am currently in a long distance relationship and although yes, I am in a relationship, I still feel incredibly lonely from time to time. In fact, I feel at times that it’s even worse than being single. At least when you’re single and itching for intimate conversation, you can go out on a date with the night and meet other singles to mingle with. At least when you’re single, you can feel complete independence in knowing that you are focusing on yourself and that is the most gratifying feeling. Being in a long distance relationship is the ultimate isolation, but if someone is worth the time and effort- the pains of being lonely are all worth it. You just have to be happy with who you are, work towards making yourself a better person everyday and realize that there is more to life than being in a relationship with someone.
If you are feeling lonely being single on Valentines Day, know that you actually are not alone. Also realize that you do not have anyone to worry about pleasing but yourself. Although it may seem ideal to have that Valentine to please or dress up for, it’s all just a bunch of work and time that you can be spending on yourself. In order for someone to love you, you must be able to love yourself first and foremost. You are not alone because you have yourself, and you are the most important person in your life. Plus, more steak, chocolate and wine for you. :D
However, if you don’t feel like dousing yourself in unreasonable amounts of chocolate and wine solo, come to our Valentines Day Social Mixer!
But always remember, the greatest love of all comes from within.
