“Why don’t I get asked out?” This question has always plagued so many women. There could be numerous reasons. The guy may be too shy. The timing may be off. Or he’s just not that into you. Or do you think it’s you? You’re not pretty enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not funny enough. For many women it’s the later.It’s our low self-esteem that creates a vicious cycle of self-loathing that, in short, turns the guys off.
Nobody fancies me. Everybody has a dry spell now and then. But if you let this thought consume you, it will cause you to:
Ignore those checking you out and pay attention to rejection messages.All because you think “nobody fancies you.” This in turn creates:
Feelings of unattractiveness and self-consciousness. Which can results in:
Sloppy dress, acting unsocial and not mixing with others.This leads to more:
You don’t get asked out, which reinforces #1 Nobody fancies you.
Breaking out of this vicious cycle may take time but it’s completely doable. It all starts with raising your self-esteem. (1) Dress up and go out with some good friends, friends that will complement you and you them. (2) Stay positive, which will cause you to laugh and smile. People are attracted to happy people; they don’t want to be around people who will bring them down. (3) Do activities that you enjoy. When you do what you love your personality shines – that’s when people will notice you. (4) And keep your eye out for those that do notice you. Let that boost your ego and raise your self-esteem. (5) Lastly, remember that confidence is sexy.
Now that you have the how to, only practice makes perfect. Get out there and start dating!
Some people view their car as an extension of themselves, while others view their car as a practical means from point A to B. Whatever the camp you’re in, there’s no denying that people make quick judgments based on the car you’re driving. To many people, the car you drive says more about you than your clothes.
Economy Sedans (Honda Accord, Toyota Corolla, Volkswagon Jetta)
Driving one of these cars says that you’re practical, fiscally responsible, probably college-educated and not very conscious of image, a total family man. Out of any car you choose, this is the one that says you’re ready to settle down.
Luxury Sports Car (Jaguar Type F, Porsche 911, Ferrari F450)
If you’re lucky to be driving one of these cars, you probably are in a good place in life financially. Some women will think you’re a bit of a show off as a lot of them will assume you got the car to attract women, but they will be impressed nonetheless. You might attract the wrong kind of girl, but you’ll still attract them.
American Muscle Cars (Ford Mustang, Chevrolet Camaro, Dodge Charger)
This will tell women you probably grew up in the Midwest eating a lot of potatoes. You’re probably a pretty happy go lucky guy who loves a good time and maybe aren’t quite ready to settle down but will adjust for the right person. This tells women you can probably put some Ikea furniture together, anything but a baby’s crib.
Hybrids (Toyota Prius, Honda CRX, Ford Fusion)
This tells women you’re socially conscious of your carbon footprint, fiscally responsible, quite possibly a vegetarian and definitely educated, albeit a bit boring. According to the NY Times, women tend to find hybrid drivers the least attractive out of all cars.
Pickup Trucks (Ford F150, Toyota Tundra, Chevrolet Silverado)
In a survey done by the Washingon Post, 32%(majority) of female respondents said that they preferred men in Pickup trucks. This is because driving a pickup truck tells people that you’re handy and can probably fix a leaky faucet, have more than $100 in your bank account to get a full tank of gas and you’re probably a manly-man who eats meat which appeals to many women.
In the end, the car you drive doesn’t matter. Although you give off certain impressions with your car, if you find the right person, they wouldn’t care whether you drive a luxury sports car or a beat up jalopy. But if in doubt, just save the introduction to your car for the 2nd or 3rddate. By then, they’ll most likely know you’re more than just “what meets the eye.”
We’ve all been there. You meet someone who is so attractive you’ve conveniently already named your babies before you’ve even gone on a first date. This eagerness translates into social awkwardness in front of the man/woman of your dreams. Here’s a quick guide to make sure you don’t commit any first date faux pas.
Don’t talk about your ex. Just don’t do it. First impressions are everything and talking about your ex on the first date gives off the impression that you aren’t over your previous lover and that you may have some emotional baggage there. In addition, your date doesn’t want to feel like he/she is being compared to anyone else.
Don’t try to add them on any social media websites while you’re with them. It’s great that you want to be as connected as possible. But as we’ve talked about previously in our“Dating in the Age ofSocial Media” post, sometimes it’s better to keep it mysterious.
Don’t make overly sexual suggestions. Unless you’re just looking for a casual hookup, a lot of ladies will be put off by an overly aggressive approach if they’re looking for love.
Don’t stare creepily. Eye contact is great and will often form a greater sense of intimacy, but make sure your gaze is more playful and less intense.
Don’t ask a million questions. It’s great that you’re interested in getting to know who they are, but make sure it doesn’t feel like a job interview for them.
Don’t be coy. Be upfront and honest. It’s scary putting yourself out there, but sometimes you need to take the greatest risks to reap the greatest awards.
Don’t look like a slob. First impressions go a long way and an ironed shirt or a nice casual dress can do wonders for someone’s perception of you.
Don’t constantly check your phone. In the digital age, we’re glued to our smart phones but while you’re on a date, show them that you value their time by not wasting it checking your Facebook feed constantly or looking at snapchats of animals.
There you have it, folks. Now, go out there and put these rules into practice on a date from HowAboutaDate.com.
You’ve finally met someone you really, really like. You’ve hit it off, you’ve gone on a few dates, and now you’re stressing about whether or not to Facebook friend her/him. What about when you’re already friends on Facebook and now you’re worried about how many Instagram pictures you should like, or if you should retweet all of her/his funny tweets. Or what about when you’re dating, and there’s finally some pressure to make things “Facebook official.”
We are more connected than ever online, so how do you keep that connection from getting in the way of your relationship?
A word of wisdom: Keep in mind that just because you can see everything your new love interest does online, from the burger they had for lunch to their thoughts on the movie they saw last night, it might feel like you know them so much better, but truly, it doesn’t make you closer in real life. It’s unbelievably easy to rush into relationships because of social media, but in real life, your relationship is only moving as fast as you are when you’re physically around each other. Don’t assume you know your new partner better than you do because of their social media presence.
Now, how long should you wait before taking big social media steps? It really depends on the situation. Here are a few examples of timelines:
You met them on a dating website but haven’t met them in person? Don’t add them. If the date doesn’t go well, you run the risk of spending the next few months cringing at every status update they make about going to the gym.
You’ve gone on one date? Nope, still not time to add them. Discuss becoming friends on Facebook before doing so. That is a step in modern day relationships that couples need to consider.
If you’ve taken the Facebook plunge, it’s safe to take the Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram leaps as well.
It’s difficult to tow the line between liking your partner’s pictures and liking too many of your partner’s pictures. Don’t seem too overwhelming by liking every single one of their statuses and tweets and pictures or your interest will begin to seem less genuine or frankly, pretty annoying. Here’s the standard I hold my partner’s statuses to: I like what I genuinely like. If it doesn’t interest me, there’s no harm in passing. I expect the same from her. Don’t accuse them of ignoring you for not liking one out of your seven selfies of the day.
As a quick sidenote, I’d also like to add that you shouldn’t post pictures of yourself being the cutest couple ever all of the time. Feel free to break this rule, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when your friends start commenting “STOP IT” under the thirtieth picture of your picnic in the park together.
At the end of the day, it’s just social media. Dating in the age of social media has the tendency to make us forget our priorities. Do you genuinely like your new person and enjoy spending time with them? That’s awesome and rare. Appreciate it and don’t let dating in the digital age ruin it.
The holidays are quickly approaching making this season the perfect time to start going on amazing first dates! Have you wanted to ask that special lady out, or have you had your eye on the man/woman of your dreams for a couple weeks now? If so, now is the time to go on that first date with him/her. The holiday season affords individuals looking to have a good time a ton of exciting and unique activities to do. The food is spectacular, there are lights as far as the eye can see, and there is a remarkable feeling of love and laughter wafting in the distance. Below are a few suggestions for first date activities during the holidays that are sure to put a smile on both you and your date's face!
1. Amusement Park The holiday season is the best time to go to the amusement park. Of course, amusement parks are entertaining year-round, and they are very popular during the summer, but there's nothing quite like going to an amusement park during the holidays. The majority of amusement parks gussy their premises up for the holiday season. There are decorations like trees and lights that really make you feel the holiday cheer wafting through the air. Some amusement parks even offer special holiday shows and events. The best part about visiting an amusement park during the holiday season is the lack of insanely busy crowds. So the next time you are looking for the best first date activity, look no further than your favorite amusement park.
2. Ice Skating Rink The ice skating rink is romantic, fun, and also a little adventurous, which is perfect for a first date. Ice skating is just right for a first date because the rink gives people something exciting to do while they get to know each other better in an open environment that has no pressure. In addition, the ice skating rink is a healthy and active way to spend a Friday or Saturday night skating away. It has been shown to burn tons of calories, which is ever so vital during these holidays jam packed with tasty food, food, and more food galore. And, believe me, your date will thank you for your unique date idea if you take them to the ice skating rink since it is playful, unexpected and fun. So, go to the ice rink and get 10 points for your original and fun date idea.
3. The Nutcracker There is no other show on earth as quintessentially Christmas as the "The Nutcracker." Not only is it festive, your date will be impressed about being taken to a ballet on the first date. After the show, remember to take him/her out for drinks and always keep your pinky raised when you drink to continue showing how classy you are. In all seriousness, "The Nutcracker" is a timeless classic that has been reproduced by every renowned ballet company in the world for its imaginative plot and beautifully intricate dance moves executed brilliantly. And once you've finished watching the show, you will have "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" stuck in your head for days to push you through the holidays feeling extra that Christmas cheer. Guest Blogger
Does it matter what type of drink you get on a first date? While it's never good to judge people before getting to know them better, what drink you order could say a lot about you. It's common that people make basic stereotypes based off drink selection, whether it be a glass of wine, a shot or Jameson, or even just a soda.
These generalizations are simply generalizations, but it's always good to be conscious of what vibe you're putting out at the bar.
Bud Light or light beer - Almost certainly a sports fan and love hanging with the guys on a Sunday afternoon.
Vodka Cran/Soda - Always a crowd favorite and a safe bet if you're not sure what you're getting yourself into but want to fit in.
Micro Brews - Knowledgeable about your beers and looking to enjoy a fun night.
White Wine - Probably a women, trying to relax and typically a little wound up.
Red Wine - You're either women or male looking to relax and enjoy a good meal.
Whiskey - You're a boss.
Martini - Classy and looking for a fun time. (might as well be screaming "TALK TO ME!")
Vodka on the Rocks - Why? ...
Jager - You're reminiscing on the good times with your friends in college.
Fireball - You're looking to get the party started or keep the party going but you're not into something that'll make you cringe.
Old-fashioned - Business comes first but you know how to enjoy life.
Margarita - Life's a party.
PBR- Sophisticated, simple, and looking for the cheapest beer at the bar.
Tequila shot - Trying to forget it all.
Long Island / AMF / Tokyo Tea - Trying to get drunk asap for sex or forgetfulness.
Gin & Tonic - Probably the DD.
Champagne - Time to celebrate!
Soda - Just there to observe or chaperone.
I hope these help a little as to what some common generalizations are with certain drinks. Keep in mind it can always depend on the venue and atmosphere as well. I'd recommend to usually go for the house cocktails if you're looking to try something new and keep up an anonymous appearance!
San Francisco is full of amazing activities and events but unfortunately very few residents actually know about all of it's hidden gems. I'm going to reveal some awesome date ideas as well as provide tools to find fun activities and events around San Francisco.
San Francisco is filled with fun venues and places to get together with friends, go on dates, or just entertain yourself. I've listed several places below that are defiantly worth checking out.
Bowling @ Lucky Strike - Try your luck at this fun and hip bowling alley which features glowing pins and plenty of drink options to help ease your nerves.
Bike rental and ride across the Golden Gate and up to the Marin Headlands - Ride right past the masses of tourists as you make your way to one of the best views of the Golden Gate at the Marin Headlands.
Rock climbing at Mission Cliffs - Itching for a thrill? Come out to Mission Cliffs where you can participate in yoga, spinning, or just climb a 50ft wall. Mission Cliffs is a great spot for thrill seekers and climbing enthusiasts.
Boat ride on The Rocket Boat - Do you like to go fast!? Jump on the fastest boat in the bay and check out the city from the water.
Hiking at Mt. Tam - With hundreds, if not thousands, of different hiking trails, Muir Woods and Mt Tam is one of the best locations to explore new areas and test your endurance.
Paddle Boating at Stowe Lake - Looking for something a little more unique? Rent a paddle boat and raise the heart rate as you check out all that Stowe Lake has to offer.
Tennis at the park - This could really be just about any sporting activity. Challenge your skills and see if anyone can keep up with your awesome skills.
Salsa at the Ramp - Do your hips lie? Make sure at The Ramp where they feature weekly salsa dancing and lessons. A veteran or beginner, this is an awesome activity and always a fan favorite.
Trivia night at the local bar - Who doesn't like to show off their random collection of facts and information while sipping on tasting drinks. There are tons of bars all across San Francisco that feature trivia night and other fun events.
Nightlife at the Academy of Science - Sightseeing with drinks? What could get better than that. Check out some awesome creatures and have yourself a cocktail at the weekly Nightlife event at the Academy of Science.
Trip to the Exploratorium or the Zoo - Have you been to the new Exploratorium? Why not check it out with some company? Bring a date and visit the always fun SF Zoo or new Exploratorium right on the water.
Check out some of these websites for discounts and to find out about upcoming events around San Francisco.
sf.funcheap.com - This is a fun website that features fun and cheap events all around the Bay Area.
travelzoo.com- Travel Zoo provides discounted events and activities.
livingsocial.com - Living Social has events and food/spa opportunities that
Eventbrite.com - Eventbrite is another awesome site that provides the option to purchase tickets to events all over the Bay Area.
Meetup.com - meetup.com is a great site for finding groups of people with similar interests. If you're ever bored and looking for something last second, meetup can provide.
UpOut.com- This site features some of the coolest and most fun events in the Bay Area. They even offer occasional discounts to events.
Choosing a profile picture on a dating website can be a daunting task. Everyone wants to come off as the cool and attractive single. While most people don’t put much thought into their profile picture, it is one of the most important attributes on a dating profile. Having a profile picture helps prove that you are human and it is your first connection to a viewer. If you have a picture of a soccer ball or a flower there will always be a sense of hesitation in the communication and some people won't even bother. You should always include yourself in your profile picture. It’s important to follow several steps when posting your picture to optimize your results!
Be in the picture andbe close enough for someone to recognize you (don’t be 40ft away).
Choose a picture that highlights your best features.
Make sure the picture is a quality photo and not outdated.
Avoid pictures with a lot of people or friends more attractive than you.
Self-shot pictures are more successful than group photos
Women should look directly into the camera while making a flirty face. Men should avoid smiling and avoid looking at the camera.
Try to be doing something interesting such as traveling or at a sporting event.
It’s good to have 3-5 pictures of yourself and avoid similar photos and similar outfits.
Look like you’re having fun… Everyone wants to date a fun person!
I hope this article helps you take an attractive profile picture! Remember to always look confident when taking photos and don’t put a photo up where you look uncomfortable. Now have fun and go upload some profile pictures!
Top Lounges & Bars You May Not Know About in San Francisco
Here are my recommendations, my top 10 list of bars & lounges in SF. Note that they are pair featuring a specific and unique feel and theme.
The View Lounge / Top of the Mark
If you’re looking for a classy environment, good drinks, and amazing views, these two locations are for you!The View Lounge is in the FIDI while Top of the Mark is in Nob Hill.Both of these places are located atop hotels, have nearly a 360 degree view of the city, feature unique and specialty cocktails.I highly recommend both of these spots as date options.
Tanga Room / Smugglers Cove
Looking for a little more of an exotic feel? Both these locations are tiki bars hidden in the city and both provide top notch drinks with unique rums and alcohols. The Tanga room features a pool of water in the middle of the restaurant where bands will float and play upbeat music. Smugglers cove is a total of 3 floors and two bars, each their own small hangouts. The menu here is very detailed and consists of just about every tiki-related drink you can think of.
Ziegist / Dear Mom
If you're a biker, hybrid or road biker, these two bars are perfect for you. Both of which are a hipster's dive bar paradise featuring good food and a very mellow atmosphere. Dear Mom attracts a very unique and fun crowd and is a perfect spot for a board game and drinks. Ziegist has mostly outdoor seating and a large selection of beers on tap. Neither location is the ideal "date spot" but both will provide a fun time!
Southern Pacific Brewery / 21st Amendment
Breweries are scatter all around San Francisco but some are easier to access than others. Both of these breweries are located in a relatively easy-to-access area and feature awesome food and beer options. 21st Amendment has a fun dining/brewery feel to it and is located near the SOMA district. Southern Pacific Brewery is located in the Mission district and is hidden inside of a large warehouse surrounded by residential areas. This brewery is widely known for their tasty food and reasonable drink prices. Both locations can get a little loud but both are a treat for a fellow beer snob.
Local Edition / Rickhouse
If just "classy" drinks isn't enough for you, both these places provide classy and stylish cocktails primarily based around whiskey, rye, and bourbon. They each provide a great selection of gentlemen drinks as well an array elegant cocktails. While Rickhouse can get a little loud and has a lack of seating, the drinks, dim lighting, and overall ambiance of the bar will keep you coming back. Local Edition aims to be more of a speakeasy with their dim lighting and jazzy feel. There is more seating and an awesome display of old typewriters lined up along the walls (it used to be the SF Chronicle printing press).
Eastside West / Stock n’ Trade
The Marina is known for its diversity. These are two fun and lively bars located right off of Lombard St and attract the best the Marina has to offer. Eastside West is a fun bar that hosts live music from time to time while Stock n' Trade is a larger space and features a small bocce ball court next to the bar.
Doc’s Clock / Laszlo
Dive much? These bars are two of the Mission's most popular dive bars. Located across from each other on Mission St, Doc's Clock features a long bar and a shuffle board while Laszlo has a shorter bar and fun bar seating.
620 Jones / Bluestem Brasserie
While SF doesn't provide a lot of outdoor weather both these bars feature awesome outdoor seating and are perfect for a formal hangout with some friends or co-workers. These are perfect if you're looking for a fun, casual place to grab a small bite and a good drink on a sunny day.
Swig / Redwood Room
Want a homey and welcoming feel? Both of these bars feature fire places and a familiar touch. While Swig tends to get a younger professional crowd, Redwood Room attracts an older crowd of professionals typically in town for the night. Both feature good and unique cocktails and occasionally host DJs to get the mood set.
Sugar Lounge / The Bubble Lounge Looking for something sweet? Both these lounges feature fun and creative cocktails and a fun lounge environment with hip music. I highly recommend trying Sugar Lounge's dessert menu!
Dating is much like a job. There is typically some sort of interview process that we must go through before being accepted as a candidate. Once you've gotten the job, the real fun can begin! The beginning of a relationship is usually full of fond memories and romantic outings. Some relationships continue to have these amazing times and continue to blossom, always presenting new twists to spark the relationship. Others dwindle and die... Sometimes a breakup can be an easy process with two accepting parties while other times it's more difficult and even hostile. Depending on the person, some people are ready for the breakup and are able to move on rather quickly and cleanly. On the other hand, some relationships leave a mark and are more difficult to get past.
Dating after being in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things to motivate yourself to do. I see it as there are two different scenarios. You're either ready to be free and just have fun or you're unable to let go of the past and just want to seclude yourself and avoid contact with anyone that may be a potential partner. When people are getting back into the dating scene after a tough breakup, their friends are typically invaluable as pillars of support. If your friends aren't very supportive of you it makes the process much more difficult and effects your confidence moving forward.
The best thing to do is to just get out and meet new people. You don't have to be looking for a relationship, or even someone to flirt with. It's just good to get out and make new friends and meet new people and it'll help keep your mind off of your ex. Before you know it you'll have some new friends, new options, and will be happy and moved on.
As fun as it can be to go out by yourself in San Francisco, not many people venture off on their own. Sometimes you find yourself stuck in a situation where you want to talk to someone you find attractive or interesting but they’re in a group or with a friend. One of the toughest situations is starting a conversation with someone who’s brought a friend because it’s intimidating and sometimes the person puts off a less social vibe. The first and most important thing to establish is if the person is looking to talk to someone or if they’re just out to have a good time and catch up with their friend.
I’m going to review some scenarios that show how you can start a conversation and analyze what the person’s motives are. There are a few steps and observations that I’m going to go over that can make all the difference!
Deciding if they’re there to meet someone can depend on where you are. The circumstances change depending on the venue and environment. Your approach will be different for people that are at a loud venue or club opposed to being at a quiet lounge or even a coffee shop. The approach will also vary depending on if you’re male or female. Females typically don’t have to do much more than a few basic flirting techniques to get a guy to start a conversation.
Men on the other hand have a little more work to do. They need to be able to figure out if the women are there for “girls night” or if they want some company. The biggest tell is the eyes. If a women is looking around or not fully involved in the conversation with their friend it typically means they’re open to meet someone new. If you can make eye contact once or even twice with that person, you’ve already kicked off the introductions.
When approaching a group or friends it’s important to not disrespect anyone. Avoid interrupting conversation or trying to sit down immediately. It’s good to start with a hello and introduction. If you're creative you can throw in a line about something relevant. But don't try to hard to be funny and definitely don't say anything that someone could find offensive. It’s almost impossible to remember everyone’s name but make sure you focus on remembering the person of interest’s name!
If the conversation dies out or you begin to feel a little uncomfortable you can politely excuse yourself with a "well it was nice meeting you, I'm going to go [do something]." If the conversation kicks off and you've been accepted into the group it's important to give everyone an appropriate amount of attention (let them all talk and listen to them) but give the person your interested in the most attention and even possibly try to make some more eye contact. When you're talking to the whole group try to keep topics open and unpersonal. If things are moving well and you're sitting/standing next to the person of interest and you've made some eye contact when talking, you can begin a smaller and more personal conversation with that person and eventually break away from the group for another round of drinks.
If there is only one other friend then you need to be very respectful and polite to them. They're typically the one who will dictate if you stay and chat or not! In this scenario you probably won't be able to break away from the friend, but you can entertain them with good conversation and plan another date or exchange contact information after the end of the night.
I hope this information helps! The last thing to remember is confidence, you have to be confident but appropriate to get accepted to the group and it's always good to try and make people laugh.
Keep an eye out for upcoming workshops for flirting and moving a conversation along on our Meetup page!
