Everyone has their own styles of flirting and some people are really successful while others are not. One thing I've learned is that if you're an experienced and confident flirt, you can win out over much better looking competition. I've compiled a brief example of several different styles of flirting. It's important to find out what works for you and the best way to do this is practice, practice, practice.
Flirting is an art, not a science. As with any art, the more you practice the better you get.
Eyes: I've had full on 'conversations' with women before without even saying a word. You can say a lot with the way you look at someone. It's important to learn how to flirt with your eyes without being to excessive. The goal is to 'tease' and not creep out. I don't ever recommend maintaining eye contact or staring at one person for longer than 3-4 seconds at a time. Of course during the conversation, eye contract is extremely important, but leading up to that don't stare the person down. The trick is to show confidence and be a little mysterious without 'undressing' the other person with your eyes. Once you've mastered flirting with your eyes you'll notice that starting conversations will be much easier.
Body Positioning: It's important to keep an appropriate distance at the start of a conversation. This distance is always changing depending on the location. You'll be closer to the person if you're in a loud venue and are having a hard time hearing each other. As the conversation carries on you'll find that you can move closer and closer to the other person (given you're both comfortable with it). It's good to face the person you're talking to and keep a relaxed and confident posture.Confidence: There is a fine line between confident and cocky. It's crucial that you're able to show off your confidence without falling in love with yourself. Keep you chin up, stand like you own the place, and smile playfully. Confidence is all about you, you have to be comfortable, calm, and collective.
Touching: Touching is a very touchy subject. Touching can help get you to the next stages of flirting but it can also land you in hot water. You need to know how much touching the other person is ready for. It's good to be flirtatious without forcing the other person into an uncomfortable situation. I typically start with brief touches on the arm or hand. If the conversation is taking off it's usually okay to move for the 'arm around the back'. I'm also a big high fiver... I have yet to prove that it's a successful technique yet.
Online Flirting / Text Messaging: With the growing popularity and use of social media and mobile devices, flirting has escalated to a new level. Flirting online is a whole different situation and has allowed for many shy people to express themselves. Check out our upcoming article to learn more about flirting online.
Conversation: Conversation is something that can be practiced, but ultimately, if you're not interested in what the other person is saying, the conversation will go poorly. Remember that everyone wants to talk about themselves, this means that you need to be humble and talk less about yourself and let your date talk more about themselves. It's good to ask more detailed questions, that shows that you're listening and actually interested in what the other person is talking about. Women want to feel sexy, you need to make them feel desirable and compliment them as much as possible. Men don't usually need as much flattery but do enjoy having to work a little to get the girl.
Now that you've learned some new things, you're ready to test them out! Keep your eye out for our upcoming workshop where you'll have the opportunity to test your new skills and practice your moves in real situations. You're always welcome to come out to our meetup events or sign-up and post a date on HowAboutADate.com if you want to get some more practice in!
Happy Flirting ~
Arthur G. Bahr
Social Instigator for...